Living Together

Bridal Directory Feature Articles Accommodations Cakes Catering Ceremony Decorations Dining Entertainment Florists Gift Ideas Health & Beauty Invitations Jewelers Transportation Photography Reception Travel Wedding Attire New England Bridal Expos Wedding Tip of the Week Announcements To Announce a Wedding, Anniversary or Engagement Please select from the list below. Lowell View Engagements View Married Couples Submit an Annoucement! Fitchburg View Weddings/ Engagements Submit an Annoucement! Wedding Planner Planning Checklist Bride Checklist Groom Checklist Budget Planner Advertise Ad Rates Headlines Plan Ahead...full story The Rock Chart...full story Make Money off your Wedding! ...full story Don't Become 'Bridezilla' ...full story	Living Together: 5 Tips to Staying Sane Cooking for two Here are some hints for newlyweds as they embark on evenings of dinner together: 1. Start a recipe library with you and your mate's favorite recipes. It's a great way to build new holiday memories as a couple and as a family. 2. Celebrate weekends with your spouse. Read the Sunday paper together over fresh-baked muffins, fresh fruit and coffee. 3. Even with the household responsibilities evenly divided, there will still be nights you wish someone else would make dinner. For a simple solution, invest in a slow cooker to do all the work. With just a few minutes of preparation, your meal will be cooking all day long and ready as soon as you come home from work. Your meal simmers all day for you. 4. If you're just cooking for two, having leftovers isn't that unusual. Instead of groaning or letting them go to waste, try incorporating cooked ingredients into a completely new meal. Sharing a home with a man can be a lot of great things (words like romantic and practical spring to mind), but it isn't always easy. That's what makes the advice in Julia Bourland's book Hitched: The Go-Girl Guide to the First Year of Marriage a must-read for anyone new to cohabitation. In this excerpt, she explains five simple ways to work around common problems without losing sight of love. 1. Ample Closet Space I can't tell you how often the topic of closet space entered the discussion when I was interviewing women for this book. Here's why I believe closet space ranks high in terms of supporting a sexy marriage. When our silk sweater sets and linen skirts are being smashed against the closet wall due to our husband's frayed leisure wear, the key component to our external image becomes compromised and wrinkled. In addition, closets serve to hide junk that we don't wish to see. If we lack proper storage space, our clutter will be exposed, and we will also begin to feel that our privacy is under attack. Because closet space is such an issue, there are a few things you can do. For starters, redo your closets, making them bigger if possible, and add shelves to create more space. Candace, 33, of New York, New York, and her husband use canvas boxes to store clothing used in seasons other than the one they are currently in, alternating pants, skirts, shirts and sweaters when the weather changes. Amber, 30, of San Francisco, California, who is a minimalist, and her husband, who is not, live in a one-room loft, which requires them to devise creative storage options as well. They took stock of the things they used daily, weekly, monthly and yearly, and then put into storage all the items they wouldn't touch for another six months or so. Tip: Armoires and trunks make chic storage options. 2. The Marriage Bedroom Just think about all the profound events that often transpire in the bedroom: making love, snuggling under the covers to discuss the day's happenings, dreaming, sleeping in late, recuperating when ill and even conceiving a baby. Because some of the most life-affirming and life-altering events occur in the bedroom, it's critical that you focus your decorating skill on this sacred chamber. Let's start with the bed. Make it a priority to find a mattress on which neither of you wakes up in the morning with an aching lower back or limbs that have fallen asleep due to lack of circulation. After all, a bed that is cozy gives you and your partner all the more reason to connect in the only way an intimate couple can. Mattress buying is not an easy task, though, considering that some like it hard and others like it soft. I've found that, in general, the more money you're willing to spend, the better your chance of finding one on which you'll both sleep like babies. Go to mattress stores in person and spend a good hour lounging on top of the various models and speaking with sales reps about your preferred sleeping positions. Then purchase the type that includes a comfort guarantee, so you can return it for a full refund if you don't find it suitable after all. While you're at it, hit the bedding sections of your favorite department stores and take extra care in purchasing two expensive pillows (don't even think about the $9.99 specials). I've found that the more money you're willing to spend on pillows, the less likely it is that they will transform into clumpy balls of cotton over the years. Since pillows are typically non-returnable, spend ample time mocking sleep on the display models and asking the salespeople lots of questions about the right style for your particular sleeping positions. You may have to go through several pillows before you find the right match, but at least you'll have extra ones in the house for overnight guests. As for the rest of the bedroom, my advice is to keep it simple and pure, devoted strictly to relaxation. In other words, move the home office out of this sacred realm and into a corner of the living or dining room instead. Think B&B retreat while planning the room. Doing so will help support a sexy love life. After all, how aroused can you be if, while making love, you're staring at your blinking computer screen that is reminding you of unfinished business? 3. Space for Entertaining Many couples slip into nesting mode soon after their wedding, due partially to the surplus of domestic goods (china, flatware, cooking tools) received as wedding presents. If this sounds familiar, I suggest that you focus your decorating endeavors on an arena devoted to entertaining guests, because your social life will soon make room for more home-based gatherings. Since the entertaining den is typically going to be your living room, consider the following items key for good times: a comfortable sofa, several chairs of various sizes and shapes, a coffee table large enough to accommodate several glasses and plates of food, and a diverse mix of CDs. 4. A Room of One's Own Perhaps the most important element when setting up shop is carving out a space that's devoted entirely to one's self. It's imperative that both you and your husband do this. These areas should be separate from the bedroom and, if not separated by a wall and door, at least visually defined by a shoji or other screen or curtain or, at a bare minimum, an area rug. Creating this space will help maintain a sense of self and a separate identity from that of your husband, giving you and your partner the restorative solitude you need to maintain a vibrant relationship. My personal space has always been my office since I work at home. Having a small room -- a walk-in closet in one apartment where we lived, an enclosed porch in another -- with a door that I can close is imperative for separating my professional from my personal life. Otherwise, I'm apt to procrastinate at work and spend my days wandering into the bedroom for a nap or the kitchen to attack the refrigerator. In my office, I hang the art and pictures that have special meaning for me, and I keep a shelf filled with my professional books and personal CDs. My husband's space is in the spare bedroom, where he keeps his desk and photography equipment. He also dominates the shed in back with his multiple sets of tools and home improvement paraphernalia. Other women I interviewed carved out their own space in creative ways. Paula, 31, of Spokane, Washington, has a rocking chair in a well-lit corner of the house where she retreats when she needs some space. Her husband tinkers in the basement when he needs time alone. Barbara, 30, of Staten Island, New York, finds respite on her deck, where she cultivates a garden, which she says "keeps her sane." And Kathleen, 27, of Portland, Oregon, who is the mother of a toddler, has set up a table in the corner of the living room where she can retreat when she has the time and mental energy to draw (which isn't often, she admits). 5. R-E-S-P-E-C-T The last element that will assist your efforts at setting up shop is a hearty dose of respect for the way your partner operates on a day-to-day basis. If he's the type who leaves a paper trail wherever he goes -- scattering letters on the coffee table, bills in the kitchen, important documents across the desk in the dining room -- it's very important to come up with a compromise for dealing with clutter, such as gathering all the paper into one stack that will live indefinitely on a designated table in the foyer, or creating one or two junk drawers into which you can chuck anything you don't feel like dealing with. Mindy, 25, of Somerset, New Jersey, and her husband agreed that their kitchen table would always be a wreck, marking it as the spot where they could dump their stuff unabashedly when they came home from a hectic day. Coming up with a joint plan for where household items should go will help each of you feel as if you're playing an active role in setting up shop. Plus, doing this task jointly will prevent your husband from constantly asking you where things are. Reprinted with permission from Hitched: The Go-Girl Guide to the First Year of Marriage. Copyright © 2004 by Julia Bourland (Simon & Schuster, New York, NY). Useful Articles Sharing Your Financial Information How to Merge Finances How to Change Your Name Make Money on Your Wedding
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